I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
