We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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