remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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