we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
