I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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