there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize