Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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