So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
