Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
