im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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