im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Randomize
