therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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