:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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