god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
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