You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize