you guys were way drunker than both of me
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
