pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
