Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
