Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
