Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
