I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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