Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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