So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
