What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
