But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
