I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
There are leaves in my underwear?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
