JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
