Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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