Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
