"it" just moved
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I need a hoe opinion
go on
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
