In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
