I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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