Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
