I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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