Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
