It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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