No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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