trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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