NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
