can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize