I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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