My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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