I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
