Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
