Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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