I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize