the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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