It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
