we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
