I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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