hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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