my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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