I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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