my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
