my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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