He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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