i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
