I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
