There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
