Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
