If i come over, it means nothing
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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