I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you traded sex for a burrito?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
