Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
